初東風を「かぜ」と呼ぶ吾の頬の赤
先日、Bを連れて帰宅しているとき、「かぜ！」と叫んでいた。保育園の先生から聞いていたが、向かいから吹いてくる風のことを「かぜ」と把握しているようだった。これまでは実際の物やイラストを指さして言葉を教えていたが、いつの間にか目に見えないものに名前をつけていることに驚いた。
ちょっと前までは、Bにとっての世界は家庭であり、私がそばにいる範囲内だった。それが今では教えていない言葉を覚えて帰ってきたり、知らない動きをしている。
先生は最近よく「なんだか寂しくなりますねえ」と言ってくれる。もっと寂しくなるといいな、と感じた。
・
コロナ禍で家から出ないことにより、とうとう自分も標準的な体重にさしかかってきた。筋肉もなく姿勢も悪い自分が標準体重になるということは、そのまま「ポッコリお腹」である。
なんだか誇らしいような気もするが、自身のパフォーマンスが悪くなっていることは確かだ。今日をもって生活習慣を変えるぞ。
2022年もすでに24分の1ぐらいが終わり、そのスピードに圧倒される。スピードが上がった理由はシンプルで、1週間がひとつのブロックになったからだ。
子どもが産まれるまでは、明日がどんな日になるかなんて考えたこともなかった。それが「今日はこれをやって、明日はこれをやって、スキマ時間でこれを終わらせておいて」というのが増えたり、実際に仕組みとして導入されたりした。
結果、月曜日から金曜日まではほぼ機械的に動くことで終わり、週末は残ったタスクをやったり子どもと遊びに行ったり酒を飲んだりしたりすると終わる。この1週間をグルグル回すことで1年が終わっていくわけだ。
そしてそのなかで分かったのは、生活に忙しなくしていると音楽を聴くことが減ってくることだ。BGMとして流すことはあれど、新譜を探したり気になる曲を真剣に聴いたりする時間がどんどん減ってきた。確実にアンテナも小さくなっているだろう。これが不幸なこととは思わないけれど、とても面白い発見だったので書いておく。
日記を再開。今日は一人で過ごせたので、ファミレスにこもって開発環境を整え、串カツ田中で晩酌をして、そして久々に日記用のリポジトリを開いた。
書いていない間に色々とあった。少しずつ補完していこう。
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大きな出来事は、転職したことだ。たしか6月頃にやめて、9月に入社した。
といっても業界を変えた前回と比べれば、今回変わったのは扱うプロダクトとプログラミング言語だけで、自身の貢献すべき点は変わらない。育休前と同じように好き勝手に働いて、そして楽しく過ごしている。
辞めた会社については、本当にタイミングが残念だった。子育てしながら働きたい私とプライベートなんて気にしてられない会社のミスマッチは大きかった。これまでならそれを改善しながらタフに過ごしていただろうが、子どもができるとすっかり守りに入る。
ちょうどこの前先輩と飲む機会があったが、いまは多少なりとも落ち着いているらしい。ワークライフバランスはともかく、優秀な人材は多くいたので、このまま頑張ってほしいなと思う。
・
なんで日記を書こうかと思ったかというと、出来事をメモしておくほかに、会社のtimesには書くのがためらわれることがあったからだ。
それはBUMP OF CHICKENのことで、先週からずっと**『THE LIVING DEAD』**を聴いている。正確には各曲のタイトルばかり見ている。30代には伝わるかなー。コピペでなく、キーパンチで全曲打ち込んでみる。
読んでいるだけで赤面している人は、きっと同世代だと思う。「ベストピクチャー」なんて、もう絶対にこの世には生まれてこないワードだし、「続・くだらない唄」も天才的だし、、ここまでくると地味に「ランプ」もヤバい。
そしてこれを「Opening」と「Ending」で挟んでいることで、このアルバムは金字塔となった。椎名林檎のアルバムの「タイトルのフォーマットにルールがある」もそれなりにダサいけれど、そんなのを遥かにブッちぎって『THE LIVING DEAD』はダサい。「ベストピクチャー」１曲で、そのへんのダサいアルバムは皆殺しだ。
そして個人史として重要なのは、このセンスが私の中に血肉として入っていることだ。どれも突き放すことはできず、親戚の家でくつろぐような関係性があるのだ。日記を書きながら思い出したが、私が初期に作ったMIDI曲のひとつに「マインドソルジャー」という曲があることを思い出した（死）。
I bought “Introduction to Rust Language” and had been studying it. As for pronunciation, I could pronounce “edge voice” and felt my throat was relaxed a little.
From Thursday, I went back to home with my baby. I had not study anything in home.
It’s a beautiful day today. I took my baby to the park and we relaxed on the grass.
Yesterday I tried to implement a API client with Rust. I successed to sending GET and get json data. But now, I can’t convert with using Generics.
And today, I’ve learned it and my program progressed.
It was rainy. We had an earthquake two days ago, and Fukushima was damaged much. This rain might cause a second disaster.
I tried to handle Rust in a cloud server. So, I have to end up learning AWS. And I want to learn Rust more, so I will buy the Japanese books about Rust and AWS.
As for voice training. I learned “Edge voide.” I couldn’t do it when I watched the youtube video about it. Before I learned “lip roll” too. I will try to make those my daily routine.
I was surprised my baby could open sliding doors by himself these days.
Vocal lesson trial - I refered yesterday - was not held because the teacher forgotten it! She explained her child got sick and it caught her all attention.
I dictated the following video.
This week’s idiom sounds painful, not so smart. But, What does it mean in the conversation? Let’s listen.
How did your job interview go yesterday?
I really shot myself in the foot.
Oh, No. What was happened?
I couldn’t size my old both would turn to be a interviewer’s mother.
Oh, You know you might get the jobs, right?
To “shoot yourself in the foot” means, to do something foolish that causes harm to yourself.
You don’t mean to, of course, but it happens anyway.
This week’s idiom sounds painful, and not so smart. But, What does it mean in a conversation? Let’s listen.
How did the job interview go yesterday?
I really shot myself in the foot.
Oh, No. What happened?
I criticized my old ** boss who turned out** to be the interviewer’s mother.
Um, You know you’re not getting that job, right?
To “shoot yourself in the foot” means, to do something foolish that causes harm to yourself.
You don’t mean to, of course, but it happens anyway.
I have been reading the book “Introducing to Rust language” since yesterday. Now, I have read it until Chapter 2. I will study the essential function tomorrow.
And I can pronounce the “edge voice” today. This year, I figured out that I’m not good at breathing. So, I will try to improve how to breathe.
I finished practicing Rust with Exercise.
And this Monday was Superbowl. I was suprised the Chiefs couldn’t get any touchdowns. But you might be sure that Mahomes is the best quarterback as you watched his throw.
I played the video game “Valkyria Chronicles” all day.
I watched Superbowl. It was fun, but I couldn’t enjoy so much because Packers was not there.
These days, I didn’t take any lessons. That’t why I couldn’t talk so well in today’s lesson.
Learning is the same as mustle training. If you don’t do, your knowledge or mustle leave.
Today’s lesson was good. Tought I haven’t reviewed this lesson’s video, my pronunciation when I’m talking with someone was better than before.
And I applied to a trial of the vocal lesson. Because I found out I got better if I knew how to use my throat.
Rust practice, I’ve been learning it since a month ago, is going to end. I’m able to implement this smart language. However I can’t occasionally understand why it works and don’t know some useful functions.
I listened to “If I Ain’t Got You” by Alicia Keys. When I have listened to this for the first time was about 15 years old. Then, this song’s rhythm and vocal touched me. However, I couldn’t understand the meaning of this lyric. But I understood it now, and it moved me again.
I finished Rust tasks given by Exercise. I learned how to implement so I’m going to create some simple apps.
I dictated the following video.
Some people talk a lot, others not so much.
But, how can talking have the price? Jonathan. This weekend, I’m going to organize my workspace. It’s going to clean and organize.
You’ve been talking for a month.
It takes time.
Anna, talk is cheap. Just clean your office.
It’s easy to say you’re going to do something. It’s a lot harder to actually do it.
This is what “talk is cheap” means.
Another expression that means the same thing is “Action speak louder than words.”
Some people talk a lot. Others, not so much.
But, how can talking have a price? Jonathan. This weekend, I’m going to organize my workspace. It’s going to be clean and organized.
You’ve been talking about that about for months.
It takes time.
Anna, talk is cheap. Just clean your office.
It’s easy to say you’re going to do something. It’s a lot harder to actually do it.
This is what “talk is cheap” means.
Another expression that means the same thing is “Action speak louder than words.”
Almost perfect!
Today, I joined a Clubhouse’s room for the first time. The theme of that room is to practice English. I not only used Clubhouse for the first time but also talked with unknown people. That’s why I got nurvous and feeled stiff in my mouth.
After that, I practiced a pronunciation of “th.” “th” is one of the most difficult pronunciation in all consonat.
I found the way to relax my throat this week.
My wife went out in the afternoon, so I took my baby for a walk. There were more people in the park than usual because of holiday. It was a nice weather.
January has already gone. I feel time pasts fast.
My family took a walk, and my baby boy sat on the grasses for the first time. He pulled the grass and tried to bring it to his mouth.
Today’s lesson was so fun, but I couldn’t understand my tutor so well because I didn’t know the words she used. I think they were not so difficult. I have to remember them.
ひさびさに日本語に切り替え。英語の発音について色々と改善をこころみた結果、身体とくに喉の脱力が自身のテーマになると感じた。
下記の動画を見ながら、喉を開く感覚を試してみる。
I couldn’t take today’s lesson because I made a mistake the time when it started. Students can’t send a message to teachers, so I didn’t have a chance to say sorry to her.
I tried to dictate the following VOA video.
I dictated as below.
Some people are strong will and opinioned. Other is maybe this.
Jonathan. How did your zoom date with my cousin flow a week ago?
I thought it was great. But, when I asked to she wants to talk again next week, she was kind of wishy-washy.
What did she say?
She talks about how busy she was going to be.
Yeah, that’s a NO.
Someone who is “Wishy-Washy” doesn’t show strong ideas or beleives about something.
They don’t give clear answers, and they may go back a force about dicision.
“Wishy-Washy” is not exactly a good way to be described.
And it’s correct sentences.
Some people are strong-willed and opinionated. Others may be this.
Jonathan. How did your zoom date with my cousin Frederika go?
I thought it went great. But, when I asked if she wanted to talk again next week, she was kind of wishy-washy.
What did she say?
She talked about how busy she was going to be.
Yeah, that’s a NO.
Someone who is “Wishy-Washy” doesn’t show strong ideas or beleifs about something.
They don’t give clear answers, and they may go back and force about a dicision.
“Wishy-Washy” is not exactly a good way to be described.
I especially couldn’t understand “ask if she wanted.” I didn’t have the phrase “ask if.”
I focused to practice Rust too much, so I went to bed lately than usual.
An hour after my baby had a breakfast, he got allergic to eggs. So I took him to the hospital. The doctor said his allergy is not so terrible, which made me releived.
I tried a Rust task, “Wordy.” And I figured out how try_fold worked.